I have been playing God a bit the past couple of days. Not really--but kind of.
I got a fish. A Betta fish. I bought a small tank to sit next to my desk. I filled it with live plants and driftwood and a
little log house with painted mushrooms and a gorgeous red and white crystal rock. I set it all up and made sure it
had everything it needed for a sea creature to survive and thrive.
I waited 24 hours with my new fish in his tiny cheap plastic container. I know they say Betta fish prefer small
spaces, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little guy all cramped up in there. What if they prefer small spaces
because they don't know anything else?
It led me to thoughts of humans being stuck in a "small" place or a place where they are made to feel small. Many
times folks around them think, "They must be happy where they are because they are staying." What if people are
stuck simply because they don't know they can get out of the place they are in? Maybe some are simply afraid to
try to escape their tiny world not knowing what lies beyond and choose to continue to tread water hoping they
just survive it .
I have been that person. I have been a fish stuck in a cheap plastic bowl not knowing what was out there, terrified
to find out and sure I could not survive it. That's where God stepped in. He poured me into a different life. A perfect
life? Of course not! Yet one that is somehow bigger, somehow deeper and more vibrant than the fishbowl. He made
me brave and he put people in my life to help me to continue to being brave no atter what happens. It is quite
humbling to realize if God had not taken it into his own hands I would have missed so many miracles. I could not
have done it without his constant insistent presence. He pushed and pulled me into an unknown life that I never
could have imagined. I am grateful beyond what I can ever express.
This morning I flipped on the tank light and opened the flimsy container. The little guy swam crazily trying to get
away from the net trying to scoop him out (Like me, truly like me). I plopped him in the crystal clear water and realized it must feel like another universe compared to the container. He was still for a moment and then spread his fins out swimming and exploring. I had not realized how beautiful he was in his little bowl. He needed the space to spread out his glorious fins which are iridescent and every color of the ocean. Occasionally he has come to the side of the tank where I am sitting. He floats softly in place and appears to be looking at me. Like he knows I just gave him a new world. It makes me smile.
Again, it reminds me of myself. Exploring every inch of my life as I continue on, but I too pause and look up trying to see my savior to say, "Thank you." I hope it makes God smile too.
Monika M. Basile